What Toxic People Say to Ruin Our Self-Esteem

By Miley | Psychological Facts

Sep 26

A lot of people have a toxic person in their life. Someone that keeps on judging them, manipulating them, and blaming them for things that aren’t their fault?

These people drain your energy and make you mentally and emotionally exhausted. They are inconsistent, never apologize, and are not supportive, caring, or interested in what is important to you.

According to Forbes, there are ten types of toxic people everyone should avoid:

  • The gossip
  • The victim
  • The temperamental
  • The self-absorbed
  • The manipulator
  • The envious
  • The twisted
  • The dementor
  • The arrogant
  • The judgemental


Dealing with such a person is difficult and exhausting, and can push you to the limits. Their intention is to hurt you and destroy your self-confidence. They want to make you feel insecure and inferior.

That’s why you must not take their words personally. The truth is, they are miserable and can only feel better if they make others feel miserable as well.

Some of the most common phrases they use to destroy your self-confidence are:

1. ”You Are Too Dramatic”

The goal of the toxic person is to make you believe that it’s your fault for the current difficult or unpleasant situation. By making you a drama queen, they are not only damaging your self-esteem but are also manipulating you.

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In fact, they do this to hurt you intentionally. What’s worse, they don’t regret.

2. ”You Don’t Know What You Are Saying”

Toxic people use this phrase to make you feel insecure and inferior. And, to hurt you and embarrass you. The chances are they say this phrase to talk their way out of trouble, even when it doesn’t make sense.

3. ”It’s Your Fault”

You might have done some mistake in the past, but the toxic person would never forget. It will keep on mentioning it as a way to justify their worse behaviors.

And, if they can’t find any mistake you did in the past, they will still find something to blame you. That’s the way they work.

4. ”I Do Not Want to Be in a Relationship/Friendship with Someone Who ___.”

Toxic people use this phrase as a threat or ultimatum. But, a true partner or friend will never say these words. On the other hand, the toxic person can say this phrase without a problem as they don’t care about your feelings.

They only care about getting something out of you. This is another way they project their negative feelings onto you.

5. ”You Are Just Insecure”

This is a continuation of the blame game. A normal person would never feed off someone’s insecurity or fear. But, a toxic person will do it without hesitating. They might sound respectful but the irony in their voice gives them away.

The truth is, they are the insecure ones, and the only way to boost their self-confidence is to make others feel insecure.

6. ”You Are… BEEP”

A lot of toxic people are also narcissists. So, when their manipulative techniques fail, the only thing they can do is insult you. They are so desperate that start to use verbal abuse, saying phrases like “You’re a loser,” “You’re worthless,” “You’re stupid.”

So, if a toxic person calls you these names, they want to hurt you just to make them feel better. And, it has nothing to do with you. This person is using you to say everything that goes on inside their head. The choice of words reflects their mind – which is toxic.

That why it’s best to walk away from these people, or at least avoid them. Don’t let these toxic phrases affect you in any way. You are better than them!