Do you often lose your cool in conflicts? Well, in that case, you probably know that loss of control doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it only worsens the problems.
Conflicts are part of life, and you can’t just lose your temper every time you get into an argument.
Although you don’t have control over other people’s behavior and reaction, you can always choose how to react. Still, it’s not always easy to stay collected and calm when you see the other person gets angry and aggressive.
In such situations, you need something that will help you deal with disagreements in a healthier way.
In this article, you’ll learn a few helpful tips for staying calm during an argument or conflict. They will help you see the situation less stressful, thus preventing you from making it worse and damaging to your health and relationship.
When you face a stressful or difficult situation, your body’s natural response is rapid, shallow breathing. But, you must try to de-tense your body by taking deep breaths.
Although going against the natural response to stress is not easy, it will help you remain calm during stressful and difficult arguments.
Take a deep breath through your nose with your mouth closed, and slowly breathe out through your mouth. Breathing in this way will stop the production of cortisol and adrenaline – stress hormones.
The next time you’re in a conflict, pay attention to your body. Try to notice how the stress from the conflict affects your body. For example, you could notice tension, shallow breathing, or even trembling.
At that moment, relax your hands and shoulders, and return to a neutral state. In that way, your body will communicate positive vibes which can help diffuse the conflict.
When someone feels they are not heard, they initiate a conflict. If you think about it, it’s impossible to end an argument without active and attentive listening. That’s why it’s crucial to listen to people before you give your opinion and to avoid interrupting them.
So, let them finish speaking to learn all the necessary information, and then give your intelligent response.
Never forget to ask open-ended questions as they show you are attentively listening to the speaker. And, they show you respect that person’s opinion as you want to find out more about their point of view.
So, use more “what,” “when,” “why,” “how,” and “who” questions instead of yes or no questions which start with “do,” “does,” “did,” “don’t,” “doesn’t,” and “didn’t.” Try it, and you’ll see the difference.
Raising your voice is the quickest way to turn a conversation into a conflict. So, keep your voice down to diffuse an argument, and to help both of you stay calm.
Be real and accept that not every argument will end up with mutually agreeable results. If you see the conversation is not going anywhere despite your efforts, or the person becomes aggressive or hostile, politely disengage from the conversation. In that way, you’ll prevent it from escalating.
You must never forget to remain respectful when dealing with other people. So, try to avoid harmful behaviors which include contempt (eye-rolling and insults), criticism, defensiveness (making yourself a victim), and stonewalling (shutting down.)
And, if you notice the other person uses these techniques on you, stop discussing and suggest to continue when everyone has calmed down.
If you have any other way that helps you stay calm during an argument, please let us know in the comments.